WoodLilly

The Student.

2011-01-15T09:58:00.000-08:00

The Scientist - by Coldplay

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you, tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.
Dear: my family,
I know I act like I dont like you very much.
I live in your house and eat your food and break your vehicles and waste your money.
but all I want is to be a joy to you.
Next to God, you are first in my heart.
love: Katie

Tell me Your secrets and ask Me your questions,
Oh lets go back to the start.
Running in circles, Comin' in tails
Heads on a science apart.
Dearest: Father,
How I wish I knew You better.
You are extremely lovely.
I can't express what greatness happens to my heart when You're near.
I wish I could put my complications aside for a while, and really trust You like a child would.
Love of love: Katie

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Dear: myself,
There are parts to you that I've always hated but they never leave for long.
There are parts to you that I thought I liked, but now I see I can't.
You confuse me.
I need to put you aside.
which is easy to say.
Sincerely: Katie

Oh take me back to the start.
Dear Father, make me like a child

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.
Dear: my school,
I hope you don't know, but Ive been pretending this whole time.
I like to look smart.
I try hard.
But I have no idea what Im doing.
Am I actually good enough?
love: kvanderklippe

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles, Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are
Dear: futuristic boyfriend,
Im in a struggle with my heart.
I always think I want you. I've trained myself to think that.
But I really actually dont.
It would be good if you stayed far away from me.
I dont like boys.
and frienships are less complicated.
and the last thing I need is more complicated.
love: Katie

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
Dear: my money,
I wish I had loved you more.
"Money is NOT to have and to hold"
That was my clever line.
I didn't know how sucky it is to not have any of you.
love: Katie

I'm goin' back to the start.
Dear Father, hold me like a child.

Oh to be 13 again

2010-06-15T07:03:00.000-07:00

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
From: Katie
To: Jonathan
Subject: on the 2nd day of Christmas
Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2004 9:08:05 pm

well what do you think of well, I like big trees, and pear trees and short trees.

on monday we're gonna give a ride to Nicole to our choir thing. Are you coming??? I think not. well anyways. tammy's gonan go on here..but not yet.

I feel like.....eating.....pizza....or like....going somewhere, my moms gone. i dont relaly know where she went, oh yeah, to the dentist! wotty fun stuff. I like going to the dentist. :P I dotn relaly know why...I like that scrubber thing that goes, "zooooeeee" and its like a drill or something, and I like the little pick thing that gets plack off or whatever. :D I think they're fun. nhahhea.

Im kinda bored. maybe I shoudl call a friend. like on the phone....HA this morning some place called and its like, "please hold for an important message...beep...you have two items being held at print parcel post...blah blah blah" and then at the end it goes, "to replay this message press one, to replay this masssage in french, press two, to hang up, press three" and so I was like, pressing a whole bunch of ones and twos and stuff and then I tried to hang up by pressing three and it didnt wokr! tuh. and then none of the buttons worked so I just hung up, but when i picked it up again it was still tlaking to me! gasp, and then I like, unplugged the cord part but that didnt work either...so I just pressed a whole bunch of buttons and then hung up, :P I hope it worked...I htink it did cause im on the phone line...and it doesnt like, connect or whatever when its being used or whatever. bubye! see you on thunday . have a bat M*M

Katie

This is shaking my world right now

2010-06-08T08:30:00.001-07:00

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/MediaPlayer/4581/Video/

hopefully that link works.

if not, try this one:

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2010/4581_How_Much_Does_God_Love_This_Church/

and click on "watch"

Its an hour long.
I'm not finished listening to it yet.

Abortion

2010-05-26T11:22:00.000-07:00

How is it that in Ontario, its not against the law to thrust a knife into the back of a baby's neck as it's getting born, but it's illegal to pick a Trillium in the forest?

Why do I get in trouble for walking across someone else's lawn, but our government is allowed to take $50,000,000 a year of tax payer's money to fund abortion clinics?

Why is it horrible for a sailor to neglect alerting the captain if he finds the ship is sinking and everyone's going to die, but its applauded if someone keeps their mouth shut about protecting the unborn?

Hope

2010-04-22T11:47:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a little conversation with God.
It seems lately our conversations consist of my eyebrows looking like this / \
and me saying a lot of words that mean "Im really sorry." And, "I just can't figure this out." And then I proceed to talk about all the things I have questions about. (Trust me, there are a lot!)
Last night was no different, except God spoke to me. He said two words. I heard them with my heart.
They were: "Maybe not"
Seriously, they were the kindest, deepest, and most powerful words Ive heard in a long time.
I know this doesn't make sense. "Maybe not" ? How is that encouraging at all?
Let me demonstrate:

"Maybe it will rain today"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe I'll have a really bad day"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe this grapefruit will be rotten when I cut it open"

"Maybe not"

Still not seeming that great? Let me continue:

"Maybe if I try really hard to be nice today, everyone will be mean anyway"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe if I study hard, I'll fail the test anyway"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe if I tell that person they're sinning, they'll hate me forever"

"Maybe not"

Starting to make sense? Now let me show you the conversation I was having with my Father:

"Maybe I'm just being silly"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe if I just try harder, I can stop failing"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe if I quit going out with friends, I'll save more money, and my life will be better"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe if I give in, and live the way other people want, I'll be more peaceful"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe the easy life is better after all"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe I'm actually totally ignorant, and once I see more of the world, I'll realize how silly it is to believe in goodness"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe once I move away from home I'll get so homesick I'll hate my life"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe I won't be able to stand up to the world, and I'll conform"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe if I love living away from home, I'll become this "Miss Independant" woman, all hard and tough and selfish"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe if people knew me through and through, they would realize I'm not so great, and they'd through me in the gutter"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe my fears are irrational"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe I don't have any real problems and I should just always be happy"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe I should just be quiet and trust, like a good little girl, and if I'm having some trouble with that, maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and wait a little longer, try a little harder"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe I should realize that Christ died for me, and have that be enough, maybe I should quit asking for more"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe You gave us the bible and the sacraments and otherwise left us to fend for ourselves"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe everyday issues are too trivial for You to bother with"

"Maybe not"

"Maybe I shouldn't be honest with You, maybe my honest thoughts and questions are too sinful for You to hear"

"Maybe not"

So then I shot out the big one, brace yourselves, it's pretty honest:

"Maybe You think I'm annoying. Maybe you get sick of me asking for the same things every hour. Maybe You've given me all I need, and I should quit whining and just be happy. Maybe You don't want as close a relationship with me as I think You do. Maybe You're my God, but nothing else. Maybe I just have to live with all my longings for something deeper until I get to heaven. Maybe You expect me to struggle until I get my act together by myself. Maybe You've given me all the answers but I'm just too dumb to realize it. Maybe You care about the salvation of my soul but not much else. Maybe my sins are all I am, and so You can't stand the sight of me."

And He said, "But maybe not"

and then I cried.

Fed

2010-04-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

It didn't start suddenly. It wasn't like she decided because of one specific hurt in her life. But it didn't sneak up on her either. It was an idea she conjured out of her own heart, and over time considered it more and more often. There were warning signs telling her to beware, or this is what will happen. But they only made her feel more important for choosing this path. It was all the more rebellious, which was somehow admirable to her.
And now, here she lies on the hospital bed. A mere shell of the person she was, and a shadow of the person she would have been, had she taken the other life-path. Her ribs stick out of her skin. Her hair is falling out. Her feet and hands look distortedly large. She knows she doesn't look healthy. But she also knows she's much thinner than the fat nurse who waits on her, and it makes her admire herself all the more.
And then the nurse leaves and she looks at her knees and sees a few grams of fat stored there. She can see some in the space between the bones in her wrists. She cries, then passes out.
There is one who loves her. He has admired her her entire life, though for different reasons than she admires herself. When he first realized what she was up to, he tried to help her. He saw the look in her eyes every time someone mentioned food, eating, exercise, or health. It wasn't a look of desire or despair... it was a look of vast pain..but also a scheming look. She had a plan. And it wasn't a good one. He would change the topic to see the light come back in her eyes. He knew this was a quick fix and not a good one, but he wasn't sure what else to do.
He prayed for her every night. He prayed for himself, that God would show him how to help her.
Throughout the next weeks...months...years...he tried everything he could think of. He tried to draw it out of her, but she lied. He tried to take her exercising with him, so she would feel ok about eating some food. But it only made her better at exercising. He called her beautiful all the time. He told her she was wonderful. He painted lovely pictures for her to hang up in her room and even bought her things like perfume and nailpolish so she would feel beautiful. That turned out to be a bad idea, though, because the more she thought about her looks, the deeper she descended into her obsessive resolve. So he tried to make her think of anything but herself, by bringing her to fairs and movies - anywhere there were a lot of people and a lot of noise. However, she saw people differently by then. She knew the size and shape of everyone. She was constantly judging and weighing and comparing.
It started that she wanted to be more beautiful. Then it turned into her wanting to have total self control. And it finally progessed into simply a contest. She had to be skinniest. She barely knew why anymore, what was she accomplishing? She was only trying to be the #1 anything. She needed to win, to beat. That was a good enough reason for her.
In his mind, she was already #1. Nothing she did would ever change that. She could be kinder, meaner, ruder, smarter, skinnier, fatter, better at sports, better at art... to him it was all just, "blah blah blah." He loved Abbie. She could believe with all her heart that she could change herself, but she couldn't. Can't. He couldn't see why she would even want to. But he knew she did, and so he was there. Through it all, through everything, he was always always there.
Nearer to the beginning of it all, he had said to her, "I can see you're at a crossroads." She rolled her eyes and tried to make him feel stupid, to drop it. He said, "You need to know that whatever path you choose, I'll be there. If you want to go to the depths of hell, just know I'll follow you there. If you don't want me there, don't go."
She thought of that a lot. She made herself believe that he was wrong, that what she did didn't effect anyone else's lives. But inside herself, her voice said to her, "He won't stay. He might stay with you for a few weeks. Maybe a few months. Then he'll leave. Once you've proved to him you have no beauty to be desired, to hope for, he'll leave and be glad of it. You will be all alone." And so she made her bed in hell.

Now, as she lies passed out in the hospital bed, he is riding the elevator with her favorite foods. Apples, strawberries, pineapples, chicken wings, sticky buns, shrimp, orange juice, coffee, warm cornbread and butter, a sub sandwhich, stuffing, ham - everything he could think of. It was wrapped up so nicely in paper bags and towels, and neatly arranged in baskets, just like a picnic. He came into her hospital room and set up the food on every surface he found. The smell of it all woke her. She sat up and looked around at all the food. It was so beautiful. She really wanted it. Then she looked up and saw him. She looked in his eyes and saw the deepest, most profound look of love she had ever seen. Its like he saw Abbie herself and loved her with a love that was more than love. His eyes were the most beautiful thing in the room. She looked away. He said, "Abbie, let me feed you. Let me heal you. Let me give you what you need."
She refused. Again she admired herself for having that much stamina. She hadn't eaten in 14 hours, and was proud of it. He asked again. She refused. When he asked again, she started screaming at him. She said a lot of things she would regret later. He tried to reason with her. He yelled, too. He said if she wouldn't help herself, he was going to have to, and he would. If it was the last thing he did. He was really angry. He knew Abbie. He knew her worth. He saw what she didn't, that she was something worth saving. She wouldn't let him. She needed what he had to give, but didn't want it. Then she passed out again.
He gathered up the food and threw it in the garbage.
I forgot to tell you, he is a doctor. He knows how to heal people.
He stormed over to the storage room and gathered what he needed. What she needed.

She woke up a week later to an I.V. in her arm. He was feeding her. He had been feeding her all week, without her even knowing.

Now it is years later. Abbie is healthy. She married him.
She looks back on that time with wonder. It took a while for her mind to heal, much longer than it took for her body to heal, for it was the real problem. It was the source of her pain. Her mind was sick and very sick, to the point where she had no idea what she needed or wanted. She was totally disillusioned. Who thinks they don't need food? People who aren't sane, and I'm extremely sorry to say it.
I guess I think our Christian life is a lot like this. People have no idea what we need. We strive and seek and look and try, but our efforts never amount to anything. God doesn't wait for us to ask Him to feed us. He is constantly looking out for us. When we think we've got it all straight, when we think we dont need any more food, He knows better. God doesn't wait for us to ask Him to do what's best for us. He does it anyway. He always, always keeps us fed. Then even sometimes when we turn our back on Him and reject everything He has to offer, when we close our mouth and won't let Him feed us, He puts an I.V. in our arm, so that we can heal and realize that we do need Him to feed us. Every day, we need to receive God's Word. Just like how we need to eat everyday. It might seem rude of God to force-feed us, to make us grow when we don't want to. But when we realize how ignorant we are, how sick our minds are, to the point that we dont know what we need anymore...its extremely comforting that there's Someone looking out for us, even when we aren't. Even when we don't want Him to.

What is better, strength or patience?

2010-04-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there were two men. Their names were Bill and Jake, and they were building a house. They had already poured the foundation, built the frame, built walls, layed brick, built the roof, put in doors, put in windows... they were almost done. The next step was insulating. They each grabbed a can of foaming insulation and read the instructions. It stated the usual: shake well, wear gloves, point and spray. Extremely flammable, keep out of reach of children, etc. etc.

They looked around real quick for some gloves of some sort, but they couldn't find any. So, disregarding that cautionary advice, they proceeded without gloves. They sprayed the cracks by the windows, by the doors, by the electric wires and plumbing pipes... finally, at the end of the day, the entire house was insulated. They looked around at their work: a job well done. That checked off one more step of house building, and it was time to go home. They packed up, said, "See you tomorrow, man" and departed their ways.

When they were home, they each got their equipment ready for the next day and went inside to wash up before supper. Because neither of them wore gloves, their hands and arms were covered in dried up foaming insulation. Bill tried to wash it off, but to no avail. He picked off what he could and trimmed down the rest with a scissors. He felt a little dumb for not wearing gloves, but he knew in time the foam would eventually wear off. He would just have to deal with lumpy hands until then.

Jake, however, was determined to get it off. He washed with every scrub he could find, used brushes, small at first but getting bigger and bigger. When they didn't work, he found a knife and picked away, getting some of it off, but leaving the skin underneath raw. He tried soaking it in chemicals, which only eroded his skin more. Jake felt really dumb for not wearing gloves. He was kicking himself harder with every failed attempt to get the foam off. He tried a lot of sharp things to get it off, but finally gave up, with hands raw, bleeding, mostly clean, but not perfectly. He was totally frustrated and in a lot of pain when he finally went to sleep that night.

The next day Jake and Bill met at the house like usual, planned their day's work and got to it. Unfortunately, all construction work is manual, and one must use his hands. Both men brought gloves that day and put them to good use, but nevertheless were experiencing discomfort. Bill became more and more thankful throughout the day that he did not usually possess an exoskeleton. Jake, however, was in so much pain because of his torn up hands, that he could only work for two hours before he said to Bill, "Buddy, I'm sorry, but I just can't work today, my hands hurt too much."
"Why do your hands hurt?" Asked Bill. "Because of that dang foaming insulation" Said Jake, "I tried to get it off for hours last night!...How'd you get yours off?"
"I...didn't" replied Bill. "I tried for a while, but I figured my body can deal with it just fine if I give it enough time."

There some things in life that just heal better with time. You can try your hardest, with all your cunning and clever solutions, but you'll end up in worse shape than when you started. Calm down, peace, stop striving and let God do His work. One of His favorite tools is Time, and He knows how to use it.

From him to me

2010-03-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

Here's another song with the four oldest chords in history
I guess I lost all ambition turning left on Missouri
I could have made it better
but the feelings just aren't there.
My heart is cold and black
but I just dont think I care
so here's to me saying fare thee well
and when you hear this song I hope it hurts like...

Enamel, is stretched too thin,
you're beautiful
but not beneath your skin
Enamel, like insect shells
so hollow
like your wedding bells

The phone lines down in Mexico are slow and maybe tired
I think all your devotion got lost inside the wires
Well I hope you cannot sleep
and I hope you cannot smile
and I hope that you are burdened with your guilt for quite a while
I hope you fall in love
but I hope your plans are thwarted
and I hope that now you're back,
its because you were deported

Enamel, is stretched too thin,
you're beautiful
but not beneath your skin
Enamel, like insect shells
so hollow
like your wedding bells.

There, I said it, now he doesn't have to.

...I don't ever remember anyone hating me this much.

"What Every Parent Needs to Know about Video Games" - Richard Abanes

2009-06-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

Richard Abanes attempts to familiarize parents and so called “antigamers” with the video games that are so captivating their children on an unsettling scale. This is definitely not a book against video games. Richard Abanes himself seems highly dazzled by this fantasy world. On the one hand, he has played many of these games and knows what he's talking about, and also is an intelligent man with seemingly good judgment. However, there are segments of this book that bother me personally. Chiefly this one particular paragraph on page 49, which I would desire to quote:

“A major problem seems to be that most of the politicians and antigaming pundits have never actually played a video game for any significant period of time – let alone experienced the thrill of mastering the increasingly difficult levels of a game or joining an online multiplayer match with other from all over the world. This ignorance of electronic entertainment in general, not to mention specific details, helps no one. In fact, it actually harms fruitful dialogue and confuses the issue.”

Now, assuming video games are highly addictive, which I hold are, what if we replaced a few of Abanes' words with others?:

“A major problem seems to be that most of the politicians and anti-narcotic experts have never actually taken drugs for any abusive purpose – let alone experienced the thrill of a dopamine high. This ignorance of narcotics in general, not to mention specific kinds and effects, helps no one. In fact, it actually harms fruitful dialogue and confuses the issue.”

No one could ever make a statement like this and be held in respect. Or a similar statement concerning alcohol. One needs only have a single friend addicted, to know the extreme danger they pose. I am not opposed to alcohol or drugs – as long as they aren't abused. The thing is, nobody says, “he/she is abusing video games.” I don't agree that people need to experience the thrill of any addictive thing in order to know the evils of it. I know what its like to have your whole world revolve around video games. And seriously, its fun.
When I think of the times in my life I've thought of nothing else except the next roller coaster I want to build or how many more Egyptian farms I need before I can build a temple, or how many levels I need to train my pokemon up to defeat the next gym leader, its a happy place in my memory. The excitement and gladness of when I finished my school and could finally turn on the computer was exhilarating. However, thinking of how that was seriously the only thing I wanted to do, is saddening. I didn't want to hang out with people or go outside or read or make anything, all I wanted to do was play my game. I didn't care if someone in my family was really upset and there was something I could do about it. I didn't care that I needed to eat or go to the bathroom; I didn't care that people starve to death every day or how many babies get aborted, or how history and science have played out and brought this country to where it is today. I didn't care that every single person in the world is broken or how vital prayer is. Most desolate of all, I didn't care about God, my beloved Father in heaven. All I cared about was my virtual apartment building and how it needed another elevator. Honestly, though, they never made me complete, which I'm extremely thankful of. All those games got old after a while and God made sure of that, that they would never satisfy me completely – so I'd seek Him out.
I don't think video games are saturated with sin or the essence of evil, but I do know the power they have to suck people's time, thoughts, and energies away from anything that matters.
I want to know, are they actually worth it?

cause this is life

2009-05-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

"life that I never knew existed,
so simplistic
that many missed it
cause this is life"

but sometimes I wonder how much life is out there waiting for me, but I ignore it. A veil comes in the way and I think I'm living, when maybe I'm just going halvezies. Maybe others look on and see how much more life I'd have if not for this veil I've accepted. But veils are nice, so its not a veil. Its something else.

"do you think these are the best years of my life? Cause they rock, but I just kind of hope that I'll still have better ones."
"No... I think you're pretty determined to enjoy life"

well that's true.

"And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart"

maybe a little random, but that's a big part of my life right now.
Is it part of the life - damper? Maybe.
Maybe my life would be fuller...
Brighter...
And the joy more clearer
if that part was gone.

HAHAHA! what a joke!

My World Called Fantasy

2009-05-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

hello. My name is Faithful. My name is Bold. My name is "Great Spiritual Potential". These are my name. My given name. My taken name, however, is Zeke. Zeke is cool. Zeke is a winner. Zeke is accepted. People call me Faithful, but that's just because they don't understand my world.
When I was young, I would watch my brother play his games. There was nothing better than that. Nothing at all. I would get so involved with racing down the forest road or fighting baddies that I would forget everything around me. I'd dodge that tree, podrace past Anakin, slash that monster, do a triple jump off the wall and right in the middle of blasting enemy turtle to smithereens I'd rudely get interrupted by people's laughter. My world of valour and strength and winning would fade away and I'd realize I was dancing around, which is the joke, apparently.
Faithful is the joke, apparently.
Nevermind that, Zeke is in the middle of a quest. run, slash, side jump, slash, block, back flip, dodge, run, escape, laughter.....ehhh dont these people get it? There are more important things than Faithful's excited dance! How can you laugh when that WarLord almost chopped my head off!?
Now Im getting yelled at. My older brother is frusterated. He's going to make me leave. Maybe I'll leave for a little bit and then come back when he's defeated this boss. yeah, that's what I'll....DODGE! PUNCH!
"FAITHFUL!!!" oh, right, Im going I'm going.
there, Im hidden behind the doorway, now I can defeat the boss in peace.
"FAITHFUL!" whaaat!??! Dont you get it!? This is level 100! This is Ultimate! How can you not see the gravity of this situation!?
3,
4,
5 years later things are still the same. Except totally not the same, because mom changed the rules from half an hour of computer a day to an hour. If I push it and turn the sound down I can play for up to 3 hours sometimes! Plus, there are about a billion new games since then. Like Supreme Commander. Its like M.A.X but not turn based. MUCH better. I just built an aircraft plant. Its building 8 scout planes and then Im going to tell it to build 5 bomber planes. I'm sending my vehicles into the enemy base as soon as the scout planes are built. I think its up in the top right corner, but I can't send any vehicles there because Im surrounded by water. Oh shoot! Here come's the yellow enemy! Send out the tanks! send out the tanks! Ahh! enemy airplanes! good thing I build all these artillery! Suddenly my world gets turned off and I have to go eat. pssh, eat. In Supreme commander you dont have to eat. You have to harvest mettle and build mettle extractors, but food is out of the picture. Food is out of the picture in many games. Most actually. Except Zelda, Pokemon, Harvest Moon, The Sims, Mario, games like that. Zeke can just quickly drink some moo moo milk and get on with finding Rupies and buying the Goron Sword. hoooboy, Goron Sword, Its about a billion times better than the Master Sword, cause its just so big!!
"Faithful! eat!"
oh yeah. eat. bleagh, this tastes bad.
"Faithful, mom made this food for you! be Thankful!"
oops, did I say that out loud? ohwell. I wonder what Cherry Berries taste like! Pikachu has had about 3 of them. I have to remember to find one for Ditto. Oh! I have an egg in the Pokemart! I'll go get it out right now!
"Faithful, where are you going? We're doing devotions!"
quick, make an excuse, um.... I have to go to the bathroom.
"We're not done!"
great, bad one. Now Dad thinks Im stupid. Probly the whole family does. I probly am... Not when it comes to my world though! How are they interested in this mundane life when there's a whole other world to explore!? If only mom let us play Teen games. Total Annihilation should not be rated teen! Its totally unfair! All there is is some explosions of robots in space! She lets us play Red Alert where blood spurts out of people when they die, so why wont she let us play Total Annihilation?? That's what I call stupid.
*next morning*
gah, I have to get up already? I stayed up too late playing Mario & Luigi SuperStar Saga. Hopefully mom doesn't find out or she'll take it away. I'll get up and go to school and pretend I'm not tired, then I can play however much I want to later.
I wonder if I'll get made fun of on the bus if I play Pokemon Ruby?
How I hate school. I say hi to the bus driver and everyone snickers. I ask what someone would do if a big fat slug suddenly asked them why there's a fly in their soup (that happened in one of my books heehee!) but I get laughed at. I think its a perfectly legitimate question.
The teacher talks about factories and it reminds me of the one Gordon Korman book. haha! that's a good one! The factory in that book makes a thousand different things that are completely useless on their own, but completely necessary for the thing they're made for. Like zipper teeth.
*various scoffing and snickering noises*
well, I thought it was interesting. These people think Im weird. I am I guess. I dont fit in anywhere. This is stupid, I want to go home. I like home. And the Library. That's weird to most people. Faithful is weird, though, so its okay to act weird.
That's why I like Zeke, cause when Im Zeke, I'm defeating baddies and gaining levels and the online gamers want me on their team. Or they want to challenge me. Zeke comes on the scene and everyone's intimidated! Gamers like Zeke, cause Zeke is a good gamer. People dont like Faithful, though. He's rude and likes the library. The Library has fast internet.
I guess the Library is my favorite place besides home. I think I'll tell my family that. They'll like to hear it. Moreover, I'd like to tell them.
~at home~
home is my favorite place and the library is my second favorite place.
"..The library? okaaaaay that's a little weird."
eh, maybe home isn't my favorite place after all. At least I can avoid people here. I'm going to get a glass of milk and go to my room. I don't like to avoid them all the time. But they dont understand anything about Mario or Pokemon or Homeworld or anything. Wow, are they missing out! Mario can jump up the equivalent of 80 stories! I just wall hop all the way up there. Then there's the Klomp at the top, gotta remember to avoid him.
"Faithful, what are you doing?"
ummmm.......not much.
"Are you on the computer?"
how long can I avoid this question and keep playing?
"FAITHFUL!"
ummmm......no. wow! I made it all the way up! Zeke just conquered 80 stories people!
"Are you on the Nintendo?"
wow! I gotta tell my brother this! he'll love it! Zeke rules!!
"FAITHFUL!"
NO IM ON THE WII OKAY!?
"well have you done your homework?"
woah! dodge that flame! land on the platform! dodge the next flame!
"FAITHFUL!??!"
daah, NO! I"M NOT! punch em! pound em!
"GET OFF OF THERE AND DO YOUR SCHOOL!"
gaaah, Im almost done this level! I'll say okay, then they'll get less mad for a bit.
ok.
"YOU'RE GETTING LOW GRADES BECAUSE YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME ON THAT STUPID GAME!"
that is so not true, why would I spend all my time on Mario when Pokemon Platinum is sitting around in my room just waiting for me?
on the other hand, if I do homework I can go on the Internet and gain a few levels in Maple Story.
"FAITHFUL!"
yeah yeah yeah! Im going! Just gimme a minute!
"NOW!!!"
oh great, here comes the yell fest. They are just so annoying! How would they feel if I constantly pestered them during the hardest level of Mario? gah, they wouldn't understand anyway. They can't see the charm of it all. I dont even fit in with my own family. Im going to go be Zeke and beat some baddies so my online gamer friends will want me on their team.

Gentle and Quiet spirit?

2009-03-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

I THINK I FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE HECK A GENTLE AND QUIET SPIRIT IS!!!!

K, so, first of all, Christian girls are marked by two things (well actually we're marked by more than two things, but two of them are...) :

their spirit is gentle,
and their spirit is quiet.

A gentle and quiet spirit is marked by three things:

Service,
Care,
and Encouragement.

If a girl is walking around serving people, caring for people, and encouraging people, she has a gentle and quiet spirit, no doubt in my mind.
And if a girl is walking around with a gentle and quiet spirit, she has a relationship with God, no doubt in my mind.

But none of this is possible without humility.
Humility is Key. (no doubt in my mind)

my insides.

2009-03-11T18:40:00.000-07:00

Today my insides look like an empty park bench.
Its spring, which is happy, and the bench faces a river that's thawing, but still a bit icy.
There are Willow Trees with new leaves growing.
There's some wind, but the bench can't feel it.
The bench wants to walk on the water. But she knows she'll break through the ice. So she sits and waits for next winter.
She doesn't mind, the sun is shining on her and the leaves are starting to grow. This all makes her want to cry though, cause she can't feel the wind. She wants it to not only blow around her and between the planks of wood which make her up, but to permeate the very core of everything she is. But she just can't feel it.
the river is her tears, but she doesn't know why.
its not salty.
just cold, but she doesn't know why.
Maybe if she could stop looking at the river and feel the wind, she wouldn't mind not being able to figure out everything.
or figure out anything.
She is a park bench right?
or is she a department store bench?
or is she a bench for homeless people to sleep on in the daytime?
Why won't the wind just tell her?
She feels like, ashamed cause she's not a bench for homeless people.
But actually, she really just wants it to be
right
to just be a park bench in the sun by the river with the willow leaves growing.

1 John 3: 17-18

2008-07-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear.

My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love.

A story about a teacher

2008-07-21T09:39:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a teacher.
He was an incredible teacher. Very much good. He received a request one day to go and teach at the village of people. He went.
The people at the village of people had never learned anything their whole entire life. Nevertheless, they were very smart. Very quick, just not learned. They needed to get out in the world, and they asked this very good teacher to teach them all they need to know. So he did. He taught them history and mathematics and english and science. Even grammar and geography. And he taught them well.
But there were a few in the class who started to get distracted. In fact, there were a lot. They listened randomly and at their own whims, but mostly just daydreamed about nothing all day. Day after day. The teacher new this was happening, and he tried to make them listen. They were silly not to listen, because he wasn't even boring.
week after week, month after month, and their daydreaming just got worse. Basically, by the end of the school year, they had learned next to nothing except that they were very good at not listening. This didn't really bother them; they didn't care.
And then came exam time.
They received their study papers, and lists of books to study with, and were send home for a week to study. But they didn't, because it was boring, and because distraction was so very attractive.
exam day came, and they all flunked. None measured up to the standard. It was easy stuff like king henry the eighth, and multiplication, but they knew nothing because they had not listened.
Afterwards when they all received an F, they were angry.
They lined up outside his office and one by one each resident of the village complained and blamed, and each left crying.
Then a certain man of the village, gifted with leadership skills, made a speech:
"should we stand for this?? we are unable to take this test and pass. It is unfair for the teacher to expect us to take this! He can't do it! We refuse to feel guilty! He is causing us to be too hard on ourselves and each other. We want freedom! We all know this test is much too hard for us. It is impossible and unrealistic to even think we can achieve this! Freedom!"
and the Teacher heard every word.
And just before they decided to get rid of Him, He departed from that country.
To this day they think they ran Him out.
To this day they blame Him for their own stupidness.

And they cannot enter the world, because they don't measure up.

2007-05-15T17:32:00.000-07:00

donkey headd woooo hoooo

dandelion

root

plus

oven

equals

semigreen coffee!!

4 Tam

2007-03-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

ok me and tam used to play this game. we called it "stupid school" because neither the teacher or the student could spell at all. hehe and i found some pages from this game. and i thought id put them on here and you guys can figure out what it all says :P

Report card addressed toward the student (tam) written by the teacher (me):

u ar mi best sudint. tel yor mon tat ooky. u hav 5 minuts too doo that ooky.
veree goob! grat gob!
herriz som papre! o dank u feri mic!
u hit mi toz!! u noty kad!
i tel yor modre dat u noty ooky?
u veree bab, I tell yor moder u ar bab, caz u almast pokt mee ad dat bab. veree bab.
I xt out "veree goob" ab "grat gob" caz u veree bab. I tel yor moder ad u wily gett in trobel ooky.

Tam's writing assignment:

"teechers foute"
teechers fout sink! I dond lice ti!
it si back an blu.
seh aways pit ti on mey taby!
an ti movs da taby!
D ed.
Tam.

And now it was Tam's turn to be the teacher. here is my report card addressed to my
mom written by Tam.

Nots. Repot cad.
Nicie:
yor dater is vey bab.
seh nevr putts da tittle no hr papr.
an seh dosnt spel veri goud ether.
seh alwas si lahfyn an i dond lice ti ad al!
an seh neads too brus hr teth mor offin oky?
an bush hr hare al the dae oky?
mabey seh wil ackt betr if seh doo.
seh dust drawed a mene pichr ove my fase!
houw howide! how wude!
o, seh whas drowin a piccer of Ano Poddy Woso or sumtin lick datl.
hr har ize a mecs!
seh whas chapin hr hads, an macing nose!
hr stowy ize feri bab twoo.
dond kow wat twoo dowo wich her!
hlp plase! sown!
EEEEK sehs comin fur my hed!!!!
Tam.

and now for my writing assignment of "ano poddy woso" :P

"dory"
dis is ano gooby dory.
seh beree prty.
seh haz big Boby (im pretty sure "boby" means bobby or boyfriend or something)
Boby wik he beree muc.
seh wik too picky flurrys, coz de flurys breevy priteety.
dery boo ad porpel ad piky ad wello.
seh picky demy wit Boby or Boody on.
seh picky demy in de medoo, ooky?
D ed.

HAHAHAHA @!!! woohoo!! we had the very best games ever ever ever.

by the way, "Dis Is Ano Gooby Dory" was supposed to mean, "this is a no good story". But then Tam thought it was a name, so I went along with that :P

Feb. 28 2007

2007-02-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

well this dang thing wont let me leave a comment on my own post. Im probly doing something wrong, but anyways.
recumbant means lying down, so SEMI recumbant means sort of lying down. :D sweet and guess what i gots a new hairstyle!
NEW HAIRSTYLE!
NEWHAIRSTYLE YEAH GET SOME

Brittni

2007-02-24T16:55:00.000-08:00

brittni i love you
like heckaroo.

there ya go. a little ryme for ya. man its a pretty good one too, i should have done that for valentine's day. ha.

NAYWAS now is the time to talk about tuesday night HEEHEE

ok me and Wonderful Brittni were sitting in the corner of our new gym sort of thing at our church and having a totally awesome talk. and The boys from our class and some who were like...10 gotta be, or something close, were just not talking to us but remaining within eyesight. And we started getting cold tushies from that cold floor in that new Gym like thing, and decided that we would go see if our daddies were done from their Gleener's meeting.

*trot trot* (thats the noise we made as we trotted over to our daddies) and they WERENT DONE YET so i guess we were a little distraction like something, but we left and started walking back. ANd then we heard some noises of boys walking down the hallway *CaBLUNK! Smash! Ouch! Ben!! you a-s-s! Bam BAm* (those were the noises we heard) AND WE WERE SUDDENLY TERRIFIED! so we dove into the girls bathroom to wait until they left. and apparently they couldnt find us so they did leave (phew!). and we darted across the hallway into the handicap washroom. but i tell you, that room is much to small for its air freshener so we left there and went into the big room at the back of the church. AND LO AND BEHOLD guess what was in that room!
CAKE
*CAKE
wooo yeaaahh GET SOME!*
(thats what our brains were thinking) so we opened up the lid and it looked even more amazing with the lid off (hawhaw) so we decided to take some. heehee oh stealers ohrobbers. and there was even a knife to cut it with! so we cut a small peice and ate it slowly and enjoyed it very much. (until we were about half way through our piece, then we heard some noises and we had to quickly stuff the rest in our mouths heh heh)
well that was very very good cake i tell you, but we heard some more noises so we had to quickly obtain semi-recumbant inconspicious postures. good hting too because a litte girl came in ( I htink shes like 13 or something like that....maybe 12 actaully) but we totally calmly said "oh hi" to which she replied "oh hi. ...... you guys can have some cake if you want"

HAHAHA LITTLE DID SHE KNOW WE ALREADY TOOK SOME

so we said thanks and told her it looked really good. and she said dig in but we took a small piece because we felt sort of bad for robbing the first one. But I tell you the second peice was just as good as the first one. DEEELICIOUS!

mmm mmm good.

so she left and we had a pretty good laugh as we ate our very good cake. :D

FEET

2007-02-20T10:41:00.000-08:00

Ill tell you one thing, feet have gotta be about the funniest things to look at ever. This morning i was feeling sort of exhausted, so i was just lying on the kitchen floor while the other kids did "God, Creation, and Me" and i started to look at Laura's feet, and the more i looked at them the funnier they were. HAHHA I dont know if its just because her feet are exeptionally funny, but they were diffinetly making me laugh. and then i felt better. Not as tired. Laughing is magic.

Ill tell you another thing (so much for telling you one thing) Solitare is allmooostt starting to get sick of me. EW AN ANT!

ILLOOOVEEYOU

2007-01-19T17:13:00.000-08:00

last post 29 dec 2006
ha i dont post very much. its practically 29 jan 2007 haha.
the nameof this post is what it sounds like when Benj says that to me heheha "HI KATIE IIII LOOOVVVEEEYOUUUU!!"ahehae cuuutte.
I really like Simon and Garfunkel.

ANyways Im just overflowing with admiration for a Kathleen Laird at this moment and i decided to post about her because shes awesome. and i used the pen she gave me all day today :D
Kathleen you are one of the most sweetest most kindest jewels i have ever ever known. I hope I never lose you somewhere in this world. You grow more and more beautiful every single day. I always feel special and happy when i hang around with you, and you always know what to do or say to make me feel better.
If ever ever you need anything anything just ask me and ill do my best :D

I love Pretty Things

2006-12-01T16:21:00.000-08:00

Like truly Beautiful take-your-breath-away gorgeous things.
So many things are beautiful, like the start button on the photocopier. And the eyes of happy people, plants, light on glass, jewels, blah blah blah. You can find something beautiful about almost anything, even if its just the essence of it or if it causes happy memories. But isnt it Wonderful when there's something that is so obviously beautiful that you have to just sit there and stare at it and wonder at how something can actually be that beautiful? sigh. I love things like that. Like old cathedrals. Or a garden found in a princess fairytale book. Or mist on a lake in the early morning. This music im listening to right now is very beautiful. Its Christmasy and Pure and it reminds me of sunshine and Angels. I hope someday I can live in a place that's knock out gorgeous.
Now i feel like watching a movie that has pretty parts. Memiors of a Geisha is a beautiful movie! But the essence of that movie is not happy. Its about girls trying to be beautiful and graceful and how this one girl accomplished that, and so it has some goooohoorgeous scenes. But yeah, it isnt a happy movie that much.

I want to figure out how to put pictures on here. IM GOING TO RIGHT NOW. oh wait i have to make them smaller first. this is a stupid computer. stupid stupid stupid.

ice cream!

2006-10-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

I think just the word ice cream brings happy feelings.
Im really really happy right now. and plus i made ice cream today. :D:D:D
HAHHAHAHAHAHAH BENJ just told me the very bestest joke EVER!! "with cows its in the one end and out the udder" AHEAHEHAEH!!!! good one good one.
Ok this morning i woke up at like, 7:30ish or 40ish whatever, and my alarm didnt even go yet, but i felt like i had slept for forever so that made me happy right there. so then i turned off my alarm and blah blah blah did some history and ate some pie and an egg. and some coffee. so anyways i did a little bit of school but i mostly just day dreamed about Focus (!!!!!!!) soo thennn i just ate some lunch boorinng OK
so then i started working for dad and the office was all clean and organized which is honestly, amazing, incredible, unbelievable, blah blah blah, so then i just sat down and started working and everythign is being functional so dad was in a good mood, and its hILLAROIUS!! hes exactly like me when hes happy!!! HAHAHA ok so benj comes running into the office and hes like "dad is it snack time?" and dad's like.,
"UP YOUR NOSE?"
HAHAHAHHAA ok and then benj just gives him this blank look and goes "what? its not snack time?" AHWEAHEHAE!!! that was like the highlight of my day oh man.

WELL Focus is like my hero.
and every dang person there is my hero.
Im pumped about my life again. It stopped for a while and i felt really depressed. I HATE being depressed. because it just comes randomly and hten you start searching for reasons why you're upset but there's actually no reason, its just your brain being spazzy. But then you start being really uncontented with everything. dum dum dum stupid stupid stupid.
but i feel better now.
focus made me feel better.

OK MY HOMEBOYS! (Nathan and Scott) YOU GUYS ARE AWWEEESSOMMME ok i dotn acutlaly think you read my blog, but at least other people will know you're awesome now.
our chatting last night made me feel really special. :) HUGGYWUGGY ok i have to go put Benj to bed (we're having a sleepover!! we're playing board games all night long!) OKBYEYACOOLIES

Big Sista

2006-09-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

ok words to a song by Super Chick, (the song is called Hero)

ahem

no one talks to him about how he lives
he thinks that the choices he makes are just his
doesnt know hes the leader with the way he behaves
and others will follow the choices hes made
he lives on the edge, hes old enough to decide
his brother who wants to be him is just nine
he can do what he wants becuase its his right
the choices he makes change a nine year old's life

that song totally affects me (effects?)
Like, thinking of the incredible effect i have on Laura is sort of scary. If I do something stupid, odds are, she will too. I realized this a while ago, and so ive really been trying hard to set a good example. Like, not yelling all the time, not caring about stupid things, trying to be nice, trying to be patient blah blah blah, the list goes on. my theory is that the more I act the way I should, the more she will, right??
well I cant see any changes in her behaviour. Shes still a liar, still thinks looks are all that matters, still robs, still is suuper selfish. all things ive been trying DAng hard not to do. doesnt she notice how hard im trying for her?? Doesnt she idolize me enough to want to at least try to be like me? not like im perfect, of course, but she must notice that I'm trying.
and then theres Zachary, i dont think he notices how much benjamin worships him. everything zach says and does, benj copies in some way. So i try to show zach how to be a good example too.
people have some sort of effect on every dang person in their life..... so i just hope i have a positive effect. I try soo hard to have a positive effect, but i cant see any. Its sort of annoying. Like, Ive noticed that if I play with Laura, or hang around with her, than shes more willing to...get me things.....haha but anyways, so I play with her whenever i get the time. but we ALLWAys have to do something that she wants to do, and like, ok, just tonight, I was quickly clearing the table and whatever, so i could color some barbie coloring book pictures with her (SOAWSOME) and then i got the super chick cd, becuase i figured she might like it, and perhaps i could get her listening to something other than Miss Molly (THARZ A HOLE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE SEEEEEE *barf*) but then, i just sit down, and start coloring with pencil crayons (thats what me and tammy used to color with) but shes really impatient so she used markers, and she colors like half her page and then gets up and goes "IM GOING TO WATCH A MOVIEBYE *stomp stomp stomp*" and im like "uhhhh fine?"
GRRRR and then when i dont hang around with her for like....one day, she gets all mad at me and shes like "Kaaattiee you NEVER play with meee" and im like "uhhh i try, laura,"
I guessss i expect her to be like how me and tammy used to be. She was the boss, and i got her stuff :P but honestly, i have the best best childhood memories anyone could ever want! We played TOONNNS of games, and did so many fun things, and listened to the coolest music, and made the best barbie clothes, and everythign! And all the time, i was learning how to be helpfull, and patient, and good. Tammy maybe didnt even realize how much she taught me by just trying to be good herself.
Why cant i see any changes in Laura or Zach? itsss making me sort of discouraged. I want to be the best big sister I can, and im in about the best position to be able to show them how absolutely AWesome the Joy of God is, but its like..... I dont know. I just wish they would smarten up a bit. and i dont feel like i can "give them a talking to" or something, becuase thats stupid, thats what parents do. They dont need a thousand moms. I wish i could see they needed a big sister though. Its like im not helping them at all. Like if i just left, theyd still grow up normaly without being any better person than they would if i lived here my whole life.....

well I guess I could use some advice here.

Tammy? Youre still my hero :)

GGRRUUDGESS

2006-08-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

Ive never ever held a grudge this long. Its weird and awful and i hate it a lot. But Anonymous was so mean to me! usually i just let it go and be nice to the person again and whatever, but whenever i think about anonymous, or someone else talks about him/her, it makes me get all mean and crying inside. Ive never been hurt this bad before. Its amazing how prisoned being angry makes you feel. I wish i could just forgive the person. well i think ive pretty much forgiven. But They don't know therefore forgiveness was given without the person even knowing I was ever mad.....therefore its not really forgiveness. so i guess i havent forgiven after all. i should tell anonymous i guess. But i feel like ive waited much too long now. I dont want to hang around with or talk to or hug or even hear about anonymous. it makes me growl in my brain.
Ill get over this sooner or later. It makes it worse because its not the first time this person's hurt me. Its the last time. TRIUMPH

2006-07-27T16:35:00.000-07:00

this smells bad

Mom # 2

2006-07-24T16:35:00.000-07:00

Hello, you may call me mom if you like. no dont.
"HEY MOM"
"shut up"
ahehae. Ok so I moved the the furniture out and vacuumed, and got some CDs from tammys room, like three or something (by the way tammy, i returned your Jennifer Knapp one) and then i brought my CD player upstairs and played the music really loud and me and laura put on spinny skirts and we danced around for like, two hours. :D:D:D the boys played computer the wholetime......
I decided being home without parents and being with just caleb, laura, zach and benj is better than being home with just guys.
This way with dad gone, i have a lot more freedom to like, turn music really loud and dance and stomp and make a lot of noise and yell all the time, and have supper ready whenever i want :D:D:Dits very very fun. and plus, dancing just makes me so much happier. :)
WELL Im in a good mood, but something is bothering me. Im really not very happy at home at all. Well thats not true, I am happy, but I just feel really frusterated and stressed and exasperated all the time. I think i already said this, but its still true.
its just so annoying, I feel like i get treated like im 15, but i have to act like im 18. You know what i mean? like i always have to be "a little more mature" or "a little less loud" or "a little less nuts" or something. And nothing is ever enough!! The house isnt clean enough, the food isnt ready early enough, we dont leave early enough, we're not mature enough, the lawn doesnt get mowed enough, we dont swim in our pool enough, we dont do devotions enough, we dont do enough dishes, we dont do enough laundry, blah blah blah it goes on and on.
and why does everything HAVE to be a certain way? why can't I ever be enough??

IN LOVE WITH YOU

2006-07-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

WEll i didnt know what to title this, and that was some words to a song im listening to.
I looove music!!! music and singing and dancing. and laughing. laughing and singing and dancing are the three most best things to do in the world. I was thinking last night what Ill do in heaven, and those three things are what id do.
Ill laugh as loud as i can, and no one will care or mind because theyll all be laughing as loud as they can.
and Ill sing so dang well, there will be no range of notes and ill be able to sing 1000 notes at once.
Ill never stop dancing. Ill dance forever and ever. But i won't ever get tired.
And everyone will be singing and dancing with me and laughing. And we'll all be singing and dancing and laughing for God, and itll be great.
Im such a dreamer. Thats all i do all day long. I just think and think and imagine scenes over and over again. I dont know if its a bad thing or a good thing. It makes me feel better though, like if things are not going well, or just not going, I just imagine what i would like things to be like, or what I would hate things to be like. maybe its making me discontented like something but its what i do. I always pick jobs where i can think while i do it. Like play piano or clean anything or assemble circuit boards.
But i read and watch movies. I dont imagine things usually while im watching tv, except during commercials, and while im reading books i dont. wait, thats a lie, I read for like, ten minutes and then i just put the book down and imagine me in that situation. sigh.
I should really do things.
wait, I do.
these past two weeks i did vbs, and finished 8 circuit boards, and today i cleaned our house.
Maybe i think that i dont do anything way too much. It makes me feel stressed and full of some sort of frusteration which i dont know how to get rid of. crying helps. and laughing. and dancing :P but i cant just cry all the time, and i havent really felt like laughign all day, BUT BUT BUT BUT My parents are leaving for a few days, which has a lot of negitive points because then i have to be the mom again....but anyways, I HAve a plan!!! im going to move all the furniture out of the living room, and then ill turn on music and dance all day long!! that will be SO FUN!!
You know how its hard to dance in small areas??/ YA well whenever im in churches or gyms or in some big room, i just want to dance so badly!! and so i dont really dance at home, like i do in my room a little bit, but its sort of hard, becuase i always hurt myself on furniture :P and then today when i was vacuuming the living room I was thinking that its a pretty big room, and its perfect for dancing in, its like the ball room of our house, so ill just move the furniture and dance with laura and benj. and maybe zach if he wants.
HAHA ok this is what will happen, ill move all the furniture, and some kid will come in and go "what are you doing katie?" and ill probly say something like "moving this furniture so i can dance" or if im in a really bad mood ill just say "moving some furniture" and theyll blink and go "why?" and that wont help my mood so ill just ignore them, so then ill have the room all cleared out and choose some music from various areas of the house and start dancing and laura will probly have joined me, and then i might be able to convince zach and benj, but the chances of that are slim.
so me and laura will dance for a while and plop on the couch a few times, and then Caleb will come in and look at us and blink and do his stupid "you guys are brainless" face and say "weird" and then he'll leave.

there i go again. aheahe!

well anyways, i think ill have a shower or maybe find my goggles and swim in the pool for a little while or something, i feel sort of dungy. ill probly shower. I cleaned it today.
i hate cleaning bathrooms. gek i didnt mind at all before. i even liked it, but then i had all these nightmares about the dirtiest, grossest bathrooms in the world, and now i hate bathrooms, especially public ones.
ok in my dream, our teen club was going rollerskating at this one place, and hten i had to go pee, so i went into the bathroom, but it was like, smeared in crap! it was so gross! its like someone turned on a dung sprinkler for a few hours, so anyways, it smelled bad so i went to find the other bathroom, and it was the same, and so i kept running around to all the different bathrooms in the building and they were all disgusting!! and my hands were all poopy and i couldnt even wash them, because the tap handles had crap on them....... so i finally found some sink imbedded in the wall and washed my hands. and then i think i left.
but that was one of the worst dreams ive ever had. it was like "GAH" run run run "GAH!" run run run run "GAAAHH!!!" and i think there was a creepy man somewhere......
yech.
ok bye

YAHOOO!!!

2006-07-07T17:15:00.000-07:00

we finally got a video camera!!!
oh man ohman ohman!! dang this is the most awesome thing thats happened to me for......i dont know. but im so dang excited about this. ahehae today me and zachary and benj made this movie with lego mans and it was like, stop action, and it was sSOO FUNNY!!! ahehae!! ok the mans come in this space ship (for coolness sake) which was brought in by strings :P and then they start building all these sheds. AHHA and theN! this truck come roaring in SCREEECCHH and it hits a wall and stuff and all the lego guys are yelling right, so then the man in the truck comes out and hes like AAAHHHH and then this K-nex spider comes onto the scene and eats all the legos up and smashes the sheds and then when hes eating like, the second last man the truck like, rams into its head and it dies and its SO FUNNY! is like RRRAAAWWROOOMMMM and then splat! and the spider is in two pieces and then Benj is like "the end" HAHAHAH!!! but it all happens within like, 20 seconds, so its like:
space ship comes in (vrrreeeeooooo)lands(bang)manstartbuilding(sawnoises,hammernoises,buldozernoises)truckcomes
in(THRTHRTHRTHRSMASHSCREEECH) (AAAHHH) (CHOMP CHOMP) (THUMPYTHUMPY) SMASH "the end"
HAHAH!!!~! oh man. that was pretty much the highlight of my day. i think ill watch it a few more times :P
I also went to see Pirates 2 with Nicole!!!
very awesome movie....the kind to see five more times, or more.
yay nerds!!
im sort of in a random mood. good mood for making movies! i think ill make one with Zach soon. :D he needs ideas, which i have in abundance :D:D:D eeeeee!

P.S. Prayers

2006-07-03T18:23:00.000-07:00

First of all, could everyone please pray for my friend Miriam Fluit. I dont know her entirely well, but she got hit by a truck in a car accident and is in very serious condition. she has a 10 % chance of living and there is bleeding in her brain. Her friend in the car with her is also doing bad. The driver is fine, but being the driver and everything, she needs prayer as well.

Then Brittni, shes doing pretty well, but im afraid shell die of boredom. shes in pain and sleeping a lot, and shes going to have to wear a back brace for 12 weeks or something. I think shell get out of the hospital on saturday or something.

Lovely

2006-07-03T17:24:00.000-07:00

I actually sort of hate that word "lovely" the word "ugly" is so much more interesting. even ugly people are so much more interesting. Youre like "well that person is not very good looking, i think ill try to find out whats goodlooking about them" and so i casually watch them (ok not so casually) and notice nice things about them. pretty people, on the other hand, i tend to stare at, becuase theyre pretty ehhe, but then i notice things that arent pretty about them. Like how if they catch you staring, they just stare right by you (not all pretty people are like this of course, but i mean, hah most of them know theyre pretty which is annoying and noticable) or they sort of flick their hair out of their eyes or something. Or they might be perfectly nice but i still notice things that are ugly about them, like how they might have a fat chin, or glary eyes, or protruding.....anything.
Moral of my story, ugly people are far more interesting than "lovely" ones. To look at anyways.

I just realized i might sound very negative in pretty much everythign i say, but i m acutlaly not really the kind of person to think negatively about everythign....i just write like that and i guess it gets it out of me../. so most of the things i make sound bad are not even half as bad as i make them sound :D ......proceed

Now for the real reason why i titled this "lovely" its because i had a really nice day :D

i stayed up till 11:30 ish last night which is pretty good for me lately :P ehhe we watched the movie called "Big" staring Tom Hanks when he was like.....20 or something. I lot better looking than now i must say. so anyways, its sort of a good movie.....but it would be crap if it didnt have Tom Hanks in it. He just makes things better. Like the parts that are supposed to be funny, are. and also the parts that are supposed to be cute, or anything. Hes one of my favorite actors.

hehe so THEN i went to bed after not completely finishing it, and read for like....two paragraphs but i couldnt concentrate at all so that kind of failed. so sleeping... ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ Z Z Z Z ok waking up!! it was like, 11:30 and i had slept for 12 hours (incase you cant think very well) and it was sort of amazing, becuase ive never slept in past 10:30 without great difficulty. But it was the most lovel.....nice sleep ever. so i woke up and ate some food....like an orange or something and then i didnt really do anything except get dressed and whatever.

I was all excited because mom said she wanted to go shopping and i was like "YAY SHOPPING PARTY!!" and plus we were going to value village, which inhances any shopping trip, honestly. BUT THEN mom said that dad said he was sort of planning on some "family outing" thing. and that would be sort of fun....for mom and dad and the little kids. but for me and tammy and caleb it would be like torture. this is what would have happened:

get in the van....takes a while....someone gets pissed about something......get driving......lauras making some talking noises/singing noises that have become back ground noises by now, and we get to some park with goose poopy water and hot sticky air, and first we go for a hike for a long long time and get pooped and drenched in sweat (ew) and theres complaining comming from every family member, if not out loud, than in our heads

HEEHEE distraction!!! this one abby person just signed on and her msn name is : "we penguins eat fish. fish have no fiber. we are all constipated. thats why we walk funny" i just died inside witht hat one hoohoo! funny!

ok so then we would find some swings and a slide and the little kids would suddenly get energy from some secret store little kids have inside them, and would scream and play and get dirty and have a really fun time. By then Katie is thinking "wow they look like theyre having fun" ,
tammy is thinking "i wish i could be somewhere else"
caleb is thinking "I miss video games"
dad is thinking "this is great! i think ill walk over there and check out that portajon"
mom is thinking "those kids are getting dirty, which reminds me i have a lot of laundry to do, i dont think Katie has given me her dirty camping laundry yet, i could do an extra load to catch up....etc"
zach is thinking "ill put these rocks in benjamins shirt! LAURA LISTEN TO ME"
Laura is thinking "yay swings!"
benj is thinking "yay rocks!"

so then Katie goes and tries out the swings. after a few moments of bliss her butt hurts from the stupid swings that pinch your butt to HongKong, and gets off and tells mom its time to leave. so we walk over to the water and the little kids go swimming in the poop and zach plays in the sand and caleb's wandering around stratching his head, and tammy and katie sit and talk with mom. Theyre all exploding from heat, but refuse to go swimming in dung, so they bear it.

after a while they go home and laura talks about being hott and how it would have been funner if..... and when we finally get home, mom does laundry and the other people do what they wanted to all along: play video games, take a shower, swim in neighbours pool, watch a movie, work, etc.

Yup. thats pretty much what would have happened. Now that i write it i feel sort of sorry for dad. He likes walking a lot, and i would like it better if it was just me and him, becuase we both walk really fast and we like it, but the rest of the family sort of drags. well tammy and caleb walk pretty well too. ok now i feel sorry for mom. she would rather walk slowly and stop to see the flowers. Im with her partly on that one. im pretty devided. "stop and smell the flowers? walk fast and feel the wind?" dang. ill stop talking about that now.

OK SO WHAT really happened, is me and tammy went to value village and i bought a whole buncch of wonderful items that no one else will have which makes them that much cooler, and we bought pizza and fed a little bird, (we fed it pizza :P haheae) and rented what i thought was pink panther (very awesome) but acutally turned out to be franklin (dissapointment :(

so i helped mom make pizza (twice a day.....i know) and we put tons of olives on this one pizza which made it incredible!!! and i sort of ate tons of olives and mushrooms and things as we were making it.....that always happens. youre like "YAY PIZZA TOPPINGS!" and so you just eat them as youre making the pizza. aheha thats fun.

we ate pizza and watched franklin (he can count by twos and tie his shoes!) and now im on here. drinking tea. its weird how pizza sucks all the moisture out of you and the rest of the evening youre drinking and drinking and drinking. I drink a lot anyways, and tehn when we eat pizza its like "gah give me more liquids!"

ok this is long i presume.... yup! tis! so ill be seeing you.

Bleh

2006-06-27T16:41:00.000-07:00

Welllll I must say Im sort of sick of it. I miss having girls in the house. I should call Lara. I will in a little bit. Dang I miss her. I miss her like Id miss.....well anyways i miss you Lara. The worst part is that all i have to do is make some food and then the guys love me :P except i made chili tonight and my family is about the worst ever at handling spicy food. It wasnt even that spicy at all. Instead of chili powder i put Curry powder in because i couldnt find the chili powder. But i guess it was spicier or something. I dont think ill ever get married. All guys care about is food and explosions. I guess im in a negative mood. and plus my room is a mess. but it makes it seem smaller. and i dont need to sit on my counter, I just sit in the sink. it works and its about twenty times as comfy as on counters.
Well my one brother was just singing along to this song im playing. heck he doesnt even know it. all i hear is that humming when someone doesnt know a song. aheahe its like, they know like one word... "hmm hmm TOO MUCH hmm hmm" its "guadira" on the dirty dancing soundtrack. its as awesome song. dang i cant get enough of music!!
well. ill be leaving. Ill probly think of more things to say and then ill just post again :D
first a song: (Ashley Simpson, Just Let Me Cry)

I'm about to lose control

I, I don't know why
Why you need some reason to feel lost inside
You, you know that I'm alright
You know that I'm just the kind of girl that feels so hurt and smiles

I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time
So get out of my face
Don't even try
Ya wanna help me, just let me cry

Yeah I loved you all my life
You don't even know a thing I feel inside
No, by the look in my eye
That I'm just fine but I might need you to hold me tight

I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time
So get out of my face
Don't even try
Ya wanna help me, just let me cry

I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time
So get out of my face
Don't even try
Ya wanna help me, just let me cry

I had a bad day, I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry
I had a bad day, I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry
I had a bad day, I 'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry
I had a bad day, I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry

Just let me.... cry

Just let me cry, I'm crying, I'm breaking down.........I'm breaking down just let me cry

I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time
So get out of my face
Don't even try
Ya wanna help me, just let me cry

I don't use excuses
Don't ask why
It's just a breakdown
It happens all the time
So get out of my face
Don't even try
Ya wanna help me, just let me cry

That pretty much describes me right now. almost exactly. WEUHD.

Another thing, is that when theres a girl there, they can prettymuch look at you and figure out how you feel and almost what youre thinking, so you never feel lonely. But when theres only guys.....there can be like a thousand all around you and you still feel alone. And plus girls understand better than guys. There are a few guys, however, that figure out things. They can tell if im sad or hurt or annoyed or really angry. ok im definetly calling Lara tonight. :) well i just ate some chili and now my mouth is spicy. Its like a heated party in my mouth. its not just a normal one....hotttt :P heehee

Movie Rating

2006-06-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

Girls: number of tears shed+ number of times nose is blown = rating of movie

Guys: number of car chases + number of cool things blowing up = see movie 5 more times

thoughts

2006-06-26T17:05:00.000-07:00

Im the only girl in the house. I love it. I get to cook and tidy things up and do all the housekeeping things i always want to do. without getting hindered by people turning off my music or telling me to do something differently than how i do it. Or just telling me to do it actually. I dont like it when people tell me what to make for supper. this time in moms note she just said "decide what to make for supper" and i was like "ALRIGHT!" so i think ill make corn pone tomorrow. i wanted to make soup. ive always wanted to. perhaps i still will. Ive wanted to do it like, boil a bone all day and keep putting yummy things in it all day until it tastes perfect. But now that i have an oportunity i dont feel like it. Its one of those things that seems better if you leave it on the other side of the fence.
I feel sort of weird right now. acutally really weird. i think ill read my sisters blog and maybe comment and see if that one boy is contacting her. I hope he did. Im always happier when Tammy's happy. I feel like my chair is crooked. like im straining just to keep on it. Perhaps its from being on the computer for so long. but i wont let it effect me because these three days will be the only three days in a long time that i get to go on msn for pretty much as long as i want. I feel sort of free. like i own this house. and i like it, but then sometimes when Dad takes the lead im suddenly releaved. I feel like a kid instead of the nanny again. i dont even feel like the nanny, more like.....actually i just really feel like the biggest sister. like the only girl. its kinda sweet. it makes me feel like i have to look pretty and be sweet and stuff becuase im the only refreshing one here.
DANG if its raining, why the heck do i have to water the plants??? thats like Pippy Longstocking! heck, she like, fills the watering can and gets a raincoat on and then waters the plants in the rain. it sounds pretty fun. I love rain and being in rain and watching rain and pretty much.....I just love it. I cant stop loving it! and when it stormed at camping, it was about the best day of my life. we were all crammed in the trailer and i read my book in mom and dads room, and mom read to the little kids, and dad played solitair and the rain was pounding on the roof and it was dark outside and cosy inside, and it was just amazing.

First Post!

2006-06-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

I just started this blogging thing. I wasnt going to, but I decided to. Some things I just want to say, but i dont want to bore anybody, so with a blog, they can read it if they want , and if they dont, they dont even have to feel bad about it. its great!